What now? This is probably a question that many grieving loved ones ask after the funeral service is over – after the relatives travel back to their respective homes – after the visitors stop coming – after the phone stops ringing – after there are no more cards in the mailbox.
We mourn with them at the funeral and share memories, laughter, and a good meal at the repast but what now? Let’s not forget them. Remember that those who are grieving need support well beyond the day of the service. They may return to their normal activities fairly soon after the death, but the sense of loss and heartache will go on for a long time.
A few of the suggestions of grief professionals are to:
- Check in on them so that they know you are still thinking of them.
- Invite them out so that they get out of the house as many mourners tend to turn inward draw back from being social.
- Encourage them to talk about their loved one who passed. Often the bereaved hesitate to talk about their loved one because they fear that it will be a turn-off to others.
- Send a card or letter letting them know that you care.
- Do something to relieve them of a routine task, for example, provide a meal, perform a household task, run an errand.
These are only a few ideas of which there are many. In all of them, be sensitive, loving, and patient – no judgment, no lectures. Grief is personal, affecting the psyche and heartstrings of each mourner differently. It may take some time for them to accept some of these suggestions and to make progress through their journey of grief. Just love them with tender compassion and don’t forget them.
How long will it take? Consider the eloquent words of a young woman who lost her father. She wrote: Death is a date IN the calendar, but grief IS the calendar. Simply put, that says, it will take as long as it takes and that is okay.
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